Anyone currently engaged in planning a wedding is undoubtedly aware of WE TV's constant barrage of wedding programming. As someone who prefers Family Guy and wrestling, I tend to tune out much of this programming. There is however one exception: My Fair Wedding with David Tutera.
I began watching this show much the same way I "watch" Teen Mom or Jersey Shore: I sit in the same room while my attention is given to my phone, or a book, or the wall, or really anything other than the TV. MFW, however, peaked my interest after awhile. For those of you unfamiliar, I'll explain the basic premise upon which every episode relies.
David Tutera is a top-shelf wedding planner. He meets with a couple, discusses their plans, then performs a complete wedding overhaul. For instance, the last episode I saw featured a couple who were so poor (and I don't mean the kind of poor I talk about in regards to myself) that there was never an official proposal. The groom couldn't afford a ring at all, so their wedding came about on more of a mutual agreement than the whimsical proposal girls dream about. As part of his wedding revamp, David supplied the groom with a one karat platinum and diamond ring, as well as a romantically lit garden scene in which the official proposal could take place. The new dress the bride was gifted through the show involved a special necklace piece holding nearly $300,000 in diamonds. Granted, Tutera's work comes with the type of budget only a cable network could provide to an average wedding. His mantra is something about making dreams come true. With my fiance being such a huge fan of the show, I looked into casting for the show. Unfortunately, we don't live in Dallas or New York, and aren't getting married in April. This got me thinking though, why do so many couples need this planner assistance?
I've come to realize that most of these couples don't need help. They're lazy. Some, as with the example couple, do genuinely need a break and they appreciate the help all the more. The rest, however, simply don't put in the genuine effort and thought they are capable of. Their wedding plans become muddled and shotty because they don't commit to their ideas. More often than not I see couples that strive for an "outside the box" wedding while not deviating from the traditional script. The key idea here is commitment.
When people think "wedding," many think of commitment as the foundation if not the entirety of the idea. With so much emphasis on the commitment to each other, why is it then so hard to commit to plans? The cliches are endless ("Be true to yourself," etc.) but the point holds true. In order to make your dream wedding, you don't need David Tutera or WE TV's budget, you need to commit.
We want a fun wedding that highlights our shared interests, not your basic church wedding. In order to make this dream come true, we committed to it. There are still traditional elements, but that is part of the dream. If you need elements of both in your plan, then make them part of your plan. Commit. This is YOUR plan. Own it, make it your dream wedding. Some things won't necessarily fit seamlessly (that's where David Tutera would be useful, cohesiveness) but that's the beauty of it; no one will be able to walk away from our wedding and say it was anything short of ours. My dream is making hers come true, and I am committed to that.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Why so long without a post? One word: Venues.
The title just about sums it up. So far in the wedding planning process, the hardest part to put in place has been the venue. We have officially locked one down, but after jumping a few hurdles.
Our first hurdle is one that many people have to overcome: finances. Just like many of the other engaged couples out there, we found a venue she loved. The setting = gorgeous, the secenery = romantic, the price = astronomical. They wanted roughly $4,000 for a ceremony and reception. Part of the price debacle is a result of us imposing that second hurdle on ourselves.
We wanted a venue that could accommodate both portions of the wedding festivities. With our family coming in from both local and distant areas, we tried to minimize the amount of extra travel for everyone invovled. This also allows us to have a little more oversight in regards to reception set up. Rather than worry about the goings-on of two venues, we've made it a one-stop-shop for our guests and our sanity. So we've struggled with price and accommodations, what's left? Exactly, the date.
October 1, 2011. A nice autumn Saturday afternoon, drifting into the evening and beyond. Unfortunately, we aren't the only couple with such an idea.
Turns out wedding season isn't just in spring. However, many venues don't agree. We found several elegant venues that met all other requirements but stopped booking weddings after August. Some were theatres preparing for their fall season, some were parks that stop booking wedding for fear of inclimate weather. Either way, they cut our list of possible venues by over half. Of the remaining venues, many were booked farther in advance. We had the opportunity to meet a young man in a similar situation at a restaurant in Green Bay. He told us his wedding was also on October 1. When my fiance asked how long they'd been engaged and working on wedding planning, he informed us that he and his fiance had been engaged for nearly two years. Their venue had been locked down nearly a year in advance. From the day we got engaged we had ten months and a few days until October 1. I didn't believe the bridal magazines when they said we were behind in the planning process. I got a little nervous when it took us nearly three months to find a venue, but I still don't 100% believe the magazines.
My reasoning is this: we did it. We found an affordable venue that meets all of our requirements and has our date open. Were we lucky? Yes, but the venue was right under our noses the whole time. Country clubs and institutions like them specialize in events the scale of weddings. Its what they do. Had we looked at some of them earlier, this blog post may be very different. The country club idea works so well for us because we are having a secular ceremony. This means churches weren't even on our radar for venues and, in many instances, wouldn't allow a secular ceremony anyway. However, if you are looking for a religious ceremony, churches are easy to find. First of all, there's a freakin' million of them in every county in the state (and I'm sure the country). Secondly, churches have almost every necessity for a wedding venue (bridal suites, dressing rooms, retrooms, kitchens, scenery). This second point also holds true to country clubs and the like. These things only matter, though, if that is the type of wedding experience you want. Its still cheaper to fly to Las Vegas than to plan and execute a full, some what "traditional" wedding.
The moral of the story is this: Finding a place can be difficult, but it far from impossible. And once the venue is secured, many other aspects begin to fall into place.
Our first hurdle is one that many people have to overcome: finances. Just like many of the other engaged couples out there, we found a venue she loved. The setting = gorgeous, the secenery = romantic, the price = astronomical. They wanted roughly $4,000 for a ceremony and reception. Part of the price debacle is a result of us imposing that second hurdle on ourselves.
We wanted a venue that could accommodate both portions of the wedding festivities. With our family coming in from both local and distant areas, we tried to minimize the amount of extra travel for everyone invovled. This also allows us to have a little more oversight in regards to reception set up. Rather than worry about the goings-on of two venues, we've made it a one-stop-shop for our guests and our sanity. So we've struggled with price and accommodations, what's left? Exactly, the date.
October 1, 2011. A nice autumn Saturday afternoon, drifting into the evening and beyond. Unfortunately, we aren't the only couple with such an idea.
Turns out wedding season isn't just in spring. However, many venues don't agree. We found several elegant venues that met all other requirements but stopped booking weddings after August. Some were theatres preparing for their fall season, some were parks that stop booking wedding for fear of inclimate weather. Either way, they cut our list of possible venues by over half. Of the remaining venues, many were booked farther in advance. We had the opportunity to meet a young man in a similar situation at a restaurant in Green Bay. He told us his wedding was also on October 1. When my fiance asked how long they'd been engaged and working on wedding planning, he informed us that he and his fiance had been engaged for nearly two years. Their venue had been locked down nearly a year in advance. From the day we got engaged we had ten months and a few days until October 1. I didn't believe the bridal magazines when they said we were behind in the planning process. I got a little nervous when it took us nearly three months to find a venue, but I still don't 100% believe the magazines.
My reasoning is this: we did it. We found an affordable venue that meets all of our requirements and has our date open. Were we lucky? Yes, but the venue was right under our noses the whole time. Country clubs and institutions like them specialize in events the scale of weddings. Its what they do. Had we looked at some of them earlier, this blog post may be very different. The country club idea works so well for us because we are having a secular ceremony. This means churches weren't even on our radar for venues and, in many instances, wouldn't allow a secular ceremony anyway. However, if you are looking for a religious ceremony, churches are easy to find. First of all, there's a freakin' million of them in every county in the state (and I'm sure the country). Secondly, churches have almost every necessity for a wedding venue (bridal suites, dressing rooms, retrooms, kitchens, scenery). This second point also holds true to country clubs and the like. These things only matter, though, if that is the type of wedding experience you want. Its still cheaper to fly to Las Vegas than to plan and execute a full, some what "traditional" wedding.
The moral of the story is this: Finding a place can be difficult, but it far from impossible. And once the venue is secured, many other aspects begin to fall into place.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)